It’s an illness that lies dormant for years, and it affects millions of middle-aged men every year: dadus jokitus, known by its more common name, the dad joke. We’ve all seen its effects: the smug sense of pride on Dad’s face, the dramatic pause as he waits for a reaction, and the groans that come from anyone within earshot, usually followed by reluctant laughter. But as we grow older, the wholesome punny-ness grows on us, and we wind up telling them ourselves to coworkers, friends, sons, daughters, and strangers, whether we’re fathers or not. So in honor of Father’s Day and dads everywhere, set your phasers to pun and groan away at our favorite dad jokes:
- What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.
- I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa.
- Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four they’d be a chicken sedan.
- A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
- Did you hear about the kidnapping? It’s fine, he woke up.
- Did you hear about the scarecrow who got an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaains.
- You know what was a groundbreaking invention? The shovel.
- I’ve worked a lot of odd jobs. First, I worked in a shoe recycler, it was too sole-crushing. Then, I had a stint at a vacuum factory but I quit because the job sucked. Now, I work in the elevator business. It’s not bad, but it has its ups and downs.
- I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
We know that barely breaks the surface on the ocean of dad jokes that are out there, but hopefully you’ll now have a few more zingers to quip with the best of dads. Make sure to comment below with your dad’s favorite line, and Happy Father’s Day from Swap.com!