Did You Hear the One About Father’s Day?

It’s an illness that lies dormant for years, and it affects millions of middle-aged men every year: dadus jokitus, known by its more common name, the dad joke. We’ve all seen its effects: the smug sense of pride on Dad’s face, the dramatic pause as he waits for a reaction, and the groans that come from anyone within earshot, usually followed by reluctant laughter. But as we grow older, the wholesome punny-ness grows on us, and we wind up telling them ourselves to coworkers, friends, sons, daughters, and strangers, whether we’re fathers or not. So in honor of Father’s Day and dads everywhere, set your phasers to pun and groan away at our favorite dad jokes:

  1. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.
  2. I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa.
  3. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four they’d be a chicken sedan.
  4. A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
  5. Did you hear about the kidnapping? It’s fine, he woke up.
  6. Did you hear about the scarecrow who got an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  7. What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaains.
  8. You know what was a groundbreaking invention? The shovel.
  9. I’ve worked a lot of odd jobs. First, I worked in a shoe recycler, it was too sole-crushing. Then, I had a stint at a vacuum factory but I quit because the job sucked. Now, I work in the elevator business. It’s not bad, but it has its ups and downs.
  10. I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.

We know that barely breaks the surface on the ocean of dad jokes that are out there, but hopefully you’ll now have a few more zingers to quip with the best of dads. Make sure  to comment below with your dad’s favorite line, and Happy Father’s Day from Swap.com!

Tammy Kotula

Tammy Kotula heads up PR at Swap.com where tech meets fashion. Her unique style can be described as blending black and neutral staples with a hint of edge to keep things interesting. Made in Michigan and now living in Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood, Tammy is a lover of cats, reality TV addict, night owl and enemy of shrimp.

2 thoughts on “Did You Hear the One About Father’s Day?

  1. I laughed at those jokes. But the again, it’s late and I’m a night owl. Also LOVE cats… even though I have parakeets.

  2. This is to good. Not only am I going to embarrass my kids with these I’m also sharing the link to reddit so parents everywhere can get in on the “so bad it’s good” jokes. xoxo Hillary Marek

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